You're not in pain, dear. You're not. Everything is fine. Look, I know you think you're hurting, but you're not. I'm your mother and I've been here for your whole life. Trust me. You're fine.
That's not blood. I know it looks like you're bleeding, but that's just ketchup. You were drinking ketchup out of the bottle and you just happened to spill some on yourself. Go on, taste some.
All right, it tastes like blood. But that's only because Heinz release a new, extra salty, tomato free ketchup. You're right - it's not very good. But you're open minded, and that's why you decided to try it. That's just the great sort of person you are.
So, do you believe me now? You're not in pain. That ache you're experiencing in your chest is nothing at all. The dizziness, the nausea - those things aren't happening. You're good.
And, obviously, I didn't stab you. Maybe that's what you remember, but it wouldn't make sense that I would do such a thing. Therefore, logically, it never happened.
Right? Right!
There. I'm glad that's sorted out.
Now, keep your fucking mouth shut or I'll stab you again.
Kidding! Kidding! Mommy didn't stab you darling. You're fine. Stop crying, you little shit. There. Good. All better.
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