THE SANITARIUM

I pooped a dinosaur today. It looked at me, up out of the water. It roared. I called him the pooposaurus. I phoned the Smithsonian. They...

We live among the remains of dead people. It's an unpleasant state. It's quiet and it's cold and we never get to sleep. The wind...

"James Bond is a serial rapist." "No, he's not. The women consented. He seduced them. Bond never raped anyone." ...

"You remind me," I say, "of a kid who used to beat me up in high school." "I have a small, unpleasant wound, on my ...

I suck as a blogger, because I post weekly, or infrequently. Apparently a real blogger posts trivial shit daily. Or even twice a day. Thing ...

You're not in pain, dear. You're not. Everything is fine. Look, I know you think you're hurting, but you're not. I'm yo...

Two young women, maybe in their early 20s, knocked on my door today. I didn't hear what they said, because they were holding pamphlets c...

He lives vicariously through himself.

You have to be authentic, they said. And they sort of refuse to explain what that means. I guess that's because you can't really t...

Everyone wants one this season.